1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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