No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We don't watch enough power rangers
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
