win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
