the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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