It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
