marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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