I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
soo... how was my night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
