There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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