operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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