is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
