how can u be prego again
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
