He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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