her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
You are a genius and a whore.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
