Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
