your room smells of hookers.
And success
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
