I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize