Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
