Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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