i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
