Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
