if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
