im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
