just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
