Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
