Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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