Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I want to be your penis for a week.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
