READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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