Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
