She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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