I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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