There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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