they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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