oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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