Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
