Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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