remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
