you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
