Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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