If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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