WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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