So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
