He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
