My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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