We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
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