uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
