I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
