Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
