in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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