Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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