Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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