Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
