I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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