I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
