normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
